1. It would take all the alcohol on board for me to be able to cope.
2. Actually, all the alcohol on board wouldn’t be nearly enough.
3. Kicking obnoxious passengers off the plane at 35,000 feet is apparently frowned upon.
4. I’ve never smoked a day in my life, but this would still be me:
5. I’d be too busy geeking out at all the other airplanes to do my job properly.
6. “Ooooh – so THIS is what the cockpit looks like! Hey… what’s that button do? What about that one? And that one? And that one? And…”
7. Many flight attendant uniforms seem to involve scarves. I suck at scarves.
8. Sit down! The seatbelt sign is ON!
9. I can’t carry a glass of water three steps across a stationary kitchen floor without spilling.
10. I’d be so incredibly tempted to deploy the emergency slide for non-emergency situations – like to get to the margarita bar faster.
11. I’m pretty sure my PA announcements would be highly inappropriate.
12. Total Bastard Airlines is the only airline that would hire me.
10 thoughts on “Why I’d Make a Lousy Flight Attendant”
I think it is a safe assumption that the travelling public and all of humanity are much better off with you on the ground and not working those flights… chuckle… Great blog posts.
Thanks so much JR! Yes, I guess there’s a reason I work in accounting. ;o)
I always say the flight attendants have the toughest job in aviation. Dealing with all those passengers? No thanks. In business aviation, they have to please the most discriminating customers, and are the primary factor in whether or not the reports back to the broker are positive or negative. It’s a lot of pressure — but they do it day in and day out. My hat is off to them!
I completely agree Ron! They do an amazing job in the face of often demanding circumstances. Pax would do well to remember that and treat flight attendants with courtesy and respect.
Beef or Cow? Beef or Cow? Sorry we’re all out of COW! Thank you, Jenn ! Another fun read ! I’m glad you covered the Cabin Crew, I could not do it for sure. As you know I thank my crew in every post flight Tweet if I can but more importantly before and after every flight. Hint, Hint my fellow Captains.
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Thanks for reading JC! And thanks for the videos, two of which I came across via your posts on twitter. No matter how many times I see them they make me laugh.
LOVE the videos. Thanks for making me chuckle!
They make me laugh every time I watch them! Glad you enjoyed and thanks for reading!
I so agree. Flight crews deserve medals. After many years of flying commercial, I had become jaded and often grumpy, though never as bad as some PAX that I have seen. Becoming a student pilot has brought many benefits, including a vastly increased appreciation for what flight crews do. I also recovered my joy in the window seat-I like watching the taxiway lines and runway markers now I know what they mean!
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