Airport Tales: Captain Al

 

By RHL Images from England (Busy Holding Points) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsAnd now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the third installment of Airport Tales! This time around we’ve hopped “across the pond” to chat with Captain Al Evans.  Al flies with a major UK airline, but over the course of his career he’s flown pretty much everywhere and has some great stories and insight to share.

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Background:

Tell us a little about your background as a pilot, how you got started, what you do now and where your travels typically take you:

Captain AlLike many aviators, my passion for flying came from my Dad. He was and still is an inspiration to me on many levels. Coming from a rural background in wartime Britain his opportunities were limited but he grasped the opportunity to join the Royal Air Force with both hands. He started out as an apprentice radar engineer and showed great promise, not only in his trade but on the rugby pitch (being Welsh and fast he was a natural selection). An unique set of circumstances led to him leaving the air force, unable to fulfill his ambition of transferring to air crew. He had all the skills and acumen but lacked one thing – colour vision! Despite having umpteen Air Force medicals this small hiccup had been undetected, and what’s more, scuppered his current trade as engineer too. After many deliberations the Air Force accepted that they had caused his colour blindness and he left. Many years later, when I was six, my father reignited his passion for flying by undertaking his Private Pilots License (PPL), paid for by my grandmother who very astutely wanted to see her children enjoy their inheritance whilst she was still alive! My dad was a natural and went on to represent Great Britain in Precision Flying and Rallying for many years.

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By Valder137, Creative Commons

As for me the spark was ignited, but when I was old enough flying jobs were as abundant as rocking horse dung. So I fell into other careers: radio presenter, audio engineer, music producer, videotape editor and finally special effects compositor for feature films and commercials. This created the income and one day in a high street newsagent I saw a copy of Pilot magazine and bought it. At the back of the magazine was a full page advert for a UK PPL in 21 days in the Florida sunshine for the grand sum of £1999. The spark turned into a flame and 2 weeks later I started in Ormond Beach, Florida. Part-way through the course I telephoned my dad and told him what I was doing and he said “great, let me know how you get on”. The following week he turned up completely out of the blue on the day of my General Flight Test and congratulated me face to face for my initiative and hard work. For me there was no going back and with my parents backing and support (something they have always given regardless of my plans) the journey to commercial aviation began.

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Chuck Yeager is a great guy, but sadly he’s not a natural Al. (U.S. Air Force photo)

I completed most of my training in Florida with the odd bit in the UK. I worked exceptionally hard to achieve the required standards and some failures (with the subsequent retests) were necessary but on reflection they made me a better Captain – not everyone is a natural Chuck Yeager!

Having flown in the Caribbean for a while, I returned to the UK and started in the right-hand seat of a Jetstream 41 flying domestic and international flights ostensibly from Cardiff. There is no doubt in my mind that flying a 29 seat turboprop is the perfect way to cut your teeth in European commercial flying, a career route that is fast becoming defunct!

Within the same airline, albeit after a rebrand, I flew the Embraer 145, the Jungle Jet, named after its Brazilian heritage. It was a wonderful aircraft, a junior B757, but it wasn’t well suited to British short runways or crosswinds!

FullSizeRender (48)There was an employment bubble, the world of aviation is cyclical, and I seized the opportunity to join a major player in the UK aviation world. The interview was a chat with two management pilots – no computer tests or HR trickery, and the deal was struck, or at least I thought so! A phone call later gave me an unexpected option Boeing or Airbus? Truthfully one look at the the beautiful A330 made the decision easy and the course date was set. A period of time flying the company A320/1s was required before I could get a go of the Big Bird, that time was quick and the delights of stormy nights in the Greek Islands was soon replaced by stunning visual approaches in the Indian Ocean! I still flew the narrow bodies but my time was mainly A330, it was a wondrous period of my life – I think I got married round about now but I’m not sure!

Command beckoned and a return to narrow body flying became the norm. Being a Captain in an airline that empowers its Captains brings many challenges and joys, but I can truly say not a day goes by where I don’t learn something new and enjoy myself.

Airport stuff

Favorite airport to fly into/out of (in terms of approach/departure) and why:

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By StromBer (own work) Creative Commons License

My favourite airport of flights past is Malé International in the Republic of The Maldives.  Why? Because after flying for over 10 hours through the night the beauty of the world is presented in a plethora of beautiful colours, as the sandy atolls poke out of the azure waters. The airport itself was a joy and visual approaches were often the norm. The airport has a long tarmac runway and a somewhat shorter water runway. I can honestly say I only ever landed on the long one! The ability to call visual with over two hundred miles to run and hear the gentle squeak of rubber on tarmac as 11 hours clicked over was unforgettable.

Most challenging airport you have flown into/out of and why:

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By Ayala (Own Work) Creative Commons License

Currently my favourite airport is also one of the world’s most challenging, Gibraltar. A short runway clinging to the side of a rock with sea at each and and no instrument approaches focuses the mind on a regular basis. There is nothing more satisfying than achieving a smooth touchdown after spending many minutes battling with horrible orographically produced winds. Gibraltar often has a tailwind on both ends of the runway!

Biggest airport-related hassle:

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Hey now… that’s a Boeing! How did it sneak in here? Oops! Sorry about that Al!

Security is now part of our lifeblood in aviation but standards vary greatly, not just from country to country but airport to airport. It is time that ICAO mandated that whilst no pilot is perfect, of can of Pepsi in the hands of a pilot is not a security risk. Many pilots these days judge airports more on their practical and common sense approach to the landside/airside transition than more aeronautical related facilities. Some airport genuinely view pilots as part of the problem and not part of the solution! I do not need a 330ml can of Pepsi to cause harm when there is a fire axe on the flight deck and within my reach!

Airport/FBO you’ve been to with the best coffee? Food? Other amenities?

My turnarounds are often short (less than an hour) so my interface with terminals/FBOs is minimal but any handling company that provides free doughnuts gets a thumbs up from me (thank you Calgary)!

Strangest airport-related incident:

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Virginia State Parks, Creative Commons License

The strangest airport experience I ever had was when I was deadheading from New Dehli to Dabolim (both in India) when we were asked to evacuate the aircraft via the forward doors only. Once outside and fearing the worst we could see what the problem was – a huge swarm of hornets had covered the entire tail section of the aircraft, there must have been millions of them! From the relative safety of an airport bus the fire brigade tried to disperse them by spraying them with water – it didn’t work and the flight was eventually cancelled! I know not what happened to the hornets or indeed the aircraft but I did make it to Dabolim, eventually!

In your opinion, what qualities make for a good airport (as a pilot and as a traveler)?

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Ha ha ha Boeing, very funny. Now cut it out!

As an industry we have faced many challenges in the past 20 years or so, but airports must become more open minded and become ‘user friendly’, nobody likes queues and often they are as a result of poor design and poor implementation. Our customers face huge delays in proceeding landside to airside with little justification. Our airports have become soulless people processors. Once airside opportunities are missed, does your airport offer a choice of full service restaurants? Very few do, favouring a selection of fast food & fast eat options. Not everyone is in a rush! We need to put some soul and passion back into our airports – no more grey or beige corridors please!

If you could operate any piece of airport equipment/vehicle, which would it be?

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Pushback tug. Hey.. wait just a minute! Thought we wouldn’t notice, huh Boeing? Well we did. Now stop it!

I have often mused about taking a pushback tug down to my local pub! No parking spaces? No problem! Some years ago when Milan Malpensa airport opened its new terminal they provided crew with electric scooters to get to the gate – there is nothing more surreal than watching 3 pilots and 14 cabin crew racing down the concourse on scooters!

Is there anything airport staff can do to better support you?

If I could ask airports to provide one thing it would be a courtesy filter, nobody should be allowed at an airport unless they can be courteous. Every week I find myself dealing with rude and disrespectful people and it seems to be getting worse. My industry once led the world in service and style alas no more or perhaps I’m just getting old!

Anything else you’d like to share?

MarkJHandle by Creative Commons

OK Boeing, now you’re just showing off.  Seriously that’s enough! Cut it out! (Photo by MarkJHandel, Creative Commons)

I don’t want to end on a negative so I shan’t! Aviation is a vocation or perhaps the worlds strongest drug – either way it is a truly wonderful industry and not a day goes by when I remind myself how lucky I am. And finally (if you’ve made it thus far thank you) our industry is in good hands for the future as just last night I had the pleasure of meeting Jess. She was one of my cabin crew, and at young age of 19 has embarked on learning to fly. Her commitment and enthusiasm are an aviation viagra to us old pilots.

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Getting better.  Now remove the flag…

So at this point I bid my passengers farewell, my crew adios and my wife and son hello!

Captain Al out.
Captain Al Evans

A320/1 Fleet Manchester (MAN) and Birmingham (BHX)

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Yay! Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to share this with us Al! I completely agree with your observations about some of the challenges facing airports today. And I LOVE your choice of airport vehicle! Of course now I’m going to be sorely tempted to “borrow” the nearest tug next time I plan a night out!

One other interest that Al didn’t mention is his desire to help people who have a fear of flying.  Check out his awesome website: flightfearsolutions.co.uk!

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Ah, there we go!

Podcast Supplemental

FullSizeRender (47)I’m not typically a big fan of Mondays. Sure I love my job and where I work but like any other Monday-through-Friday employee, I often find Mondays pretty tough to take. However, this past Monday two really awesome things happened, both of them involving podcasts.

The first thing had to do with the incredibly cheerful and totally fun Plane Talking UK Podcast. Carlos and Matt cover the week’s news in aviation (both civil and military) plus they usually have a guest (or two). They also read emails and play audio feedback submitted by their listeners. I was listening to Episode 115 on my way to work but thank goodness I had parked before the feedback section came on because the first piece of feedback really blew me away.

IMG_3211It was from Jennifer Parkinson, also known as “Jenny in Rome.” She had sent in audio feedback about how her husband had suggested an aerial tour of Rome for her birthday. She went on to say that she had recently read a blog post about a discovery flight and it inspired her to get flying lessons instead. Imagine my shock when she stated that the blog post was mine! (Mooney Over My House) When I first started this blog I didn’t know if anyone would even read it, let alone that it might inspire someone to give flying a try. I am truly humbled and oh so very pleased! I wish Jenny all the best and look forward to hearing all about her lessons!

AirplaneGeeks-banner-960x125The next awesome thing happened Monday night when I was invited to be a guest on the Airplane Geeks Podcast. In the pantheon of aviation podcasts, this one is right up at the top. I can’t tell you what a tremendous honor (and, quite frankly, surprise) it was to be asked. My first thought was, do these guys have any idea what they’re getting themselves into? My second thought was, boy I hope I can form a coherent sentence! And my third thought was, I have GOT to find a way to bring stairs trucks into the conversation.

Well I don’t know if I managed to speak very coherently, but I did manage to discuss stairs trucks. And we talked quite a bit about airports and what goes on behind the scenes. However, there was one question that I was unable to answer regarding where the airport gets its statistics on passenger travel. Well that just won’t do! So I did some asking around and here’s what I found out:

IMG_3203The information comes from the Department of Transportation. They take a sampling of passenger tickets (around 10%) and publish the data quarterly. The airport uses a software program which analyzes the information and makes it easier to dig in to. The data is apparently quite detailed and includes not only the point of departure and destination but connections, ticket prices, the airlines and even historical trends. Because the information is several months old by the time it is published, the airport will also look at trends in the community (what businesses are adding jobs or have moved into the area, etc.) to get an idea of whether demand for certain routes is growing.

FullSizeRender (46)Oh and in case you are wondering, yes my dad really did throw away the TV when I was in 6th grade and we didn’t have another in the house for 11 years.  Well, except for a tiny little TV that one of my brother’s friends gave him.  We hid it in his toy box and would get it out on Thursday nights when my parents worked late. The reception was terrible and we only got one channel but watching Magnum PI was a tradition with us until the little TV died.  Shhhh – don’t tell my parents!

(Pssst – the podcasts mentioned in this post are just two of several really awesome podcasts that I enjoy. Stay tuned – in the next post I’m going to cover a few others that you don’t want to miss!)

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The Next Firsts

IMG_2775You may recall a while back I wrote about some of the exciting first experiences I had when I started my job over a year ago – first time hearing the bird cannon, first time walking out on the ramp, etc. Well it has taken some time but I finally have another collection of firsts to share.

Single Runway Operations

At the beginning of April the airport closed the north runway for resurfacing. This is an involved process that is going to take a good six months to complete.  During that time we are a one-runway airport. The closure was timed to coincide with the end of winter and the arrival of spring.  So guess what happened the day after the runway closed?  You guessed it – we got snow!  Snow ops with a single runway can be something of a challenge.  Normally we’d land planes on one runway while the other was being plowed and then switch.  Obviously that isn’t an option when there is only one runway. Fortunately the snow was light and the only real issue was moving everyone through the deicing pads.IMG_2779

Single Runway Operations… and a Bird Strike

When you only have one runway to work with, even routine things become more of a challenge. Obviously you can’t do maintenance on or mow around an active runway, so all that has to be done in the middle of the night when there aren’t any scheduled landings. The operations department did quite a bit of planning to try to prepare for as many potential problems as possible, including what to do if the remaining runway ever has to be closed. The hope, of course, was that the plans wouldn’t be needed.  And those hopes were dashed in the second week when a bird strike forced the runway to be closed for 20 minutes to allow crews to clean up debris.  During that time at least four flights had to divert to alternate airports. In a truly extreme situation, however, the airport could land airplanes at the cargo airport instead.  It is only a few minutes away and more than big enough to handle the traffic.IMG_2736

First Aborted Take-Off

I have seen quite a few missed approaches in the last 17 months, but it wasn’t until just a couple weeks ago that I got to witness my first aborted take-off. The airplane involved was a small business jet.  It came from a hangar located on the northwest side of the airfield, which is about as far away from the south runway as it is possible to be.  I was actually checking out the construction on the north runway when I first spotted the airplane taxing along the length of the airfield and I continued to watch as it made the journey all the way to 28L.  I remember thinking what a hassle it must be for them to have to taxi such a long distance.  At last they were cleared for take-off.  I watched them line up, heard the engines spooling up, saw the plane start to go and then… nothing.  Instead of accelerating they throttled back.  It was incredibly un-dramatic.  Of course then they had to taxi all the way back to their hangar again. Ouch!IMG_2780

A Soldier Comes Home

One afternoon in late March my coworker called out that there was a hearse parked on the ramp next to one of the gates. I got up to look and saw that not only was there a hearse, but also a number of soldiers in dress uniform. This could mean only one thing – a fallen service member was coming home. As we waited for the plane carrying the casket to arrive, I saw the ground crews form a line next to the hearse where they waited in silence.  In the meantime, pretty much everyone in my department had gathered as well.  We stood in a line along the glass hallway looking out at the ramp. Everyone got very quiet when the American MD-88 pulled up.  IMG_2776

The pilots and a military representative disembarked the plane and stood together by the ground crews.  Then the airplane’s cargo hold was opened and the casket was handed out.  During this time, no one got off the plane, none of the ground crew moved and neither did anyone in the hallway.  We all stood in silence, watching as the honor guard lifted the casket and placed it into the hearse.  I have never, ever heard my department so quiet.  Not a single one of us moved a muscle until the hearse pulled away. It was an incredibly somber and powerful thing to witness. Even though none of us had any idea who the soldier was, quite of number of us were in tears.  I was proud to see how many people stopped what they were doing and took the time to honor a fallen hero.FullSizeRender (35)

First visit to the Communications Center

My first visit to the Communications Center happened totally by chance. I had to deliver some papers to one of the admins in the Public Safety department and I brought along my new coworker who hadn’t been to that department before. The admin gave us a quick tour of the offices, the police lockers, the interrogation room and the holding areas.  Then she asked if we would like to see the Comm Center.  Would I? Are you kidding me?!?!  In my mind I had always envisioned a room filled with monitors that were constantly flickering as they switched from camera to camera… and I was not disappointed because that is exactly what it looked like.

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One of the airport K-9s

As you know, airports have TONS of cameras everywhere. The Comm Center monitors the cameras for all three of our airports. We recently installed digital cameras at the passenger airport and let me tell you – they are crystal clear.  I asked one of the technicians on duty how well they could zoom in. She proceeded to show me by zooming in on a table in the food court. I could see pretty much every drop of moisture on the table and read the words on a discarded food wrapper.  Wow!

While we were checking out the monitors I noticed a buzzer kept going off periodically. The tech explained that every time someone attempts to open a secure door without scanning their credentials, it sets off the buzzer. The techs then have to check out the situation and follow up if necessary.  The Comm Center fields most of the incoming calls to the airport’s general number so they get stuck answering questions about where to park, how to get to the airport and if flights are delayed. They also field calls from the various emergency phones installed around the airport, as well as handle emergency communications during a crisis.  The most common call they get on the emergency phones? People calling from the parking lot to ask when the next shuttle will be there to pick them up.  Doh!

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This mouse’s last flight

My First Flight

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my first flight, which I wrote about in my last post. It was quite an eye-opening experience for me in many ways.  It occurred to me that there really aren’t that many people in this world who can say they have flown a plane.  For example, neither of my parents have done it, nor any of my grandparents, nor my aunts, uncles, or cousins, or even my brother.  I guess that makes me the first one in my family to give it a try.  I haven’t scheduled that second lesson yet… but I find myself thinking about it.

In the meantime, I’m looking forward to the next round of firsts, which should include the return of an airline that hasn’t flown out of my airport in a couple of years, two new K-9s and potentially (hopefully!) a visit to check out some simulators.  Stay tuned!

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Airport Tales: JR

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By Peter Rood – Awaiting Departure, CC BY-SA 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=24301274

It’s time for another installment of Airport Tales, where seasoned travelers share some of their favorite (and not so favorite) moments from airports around the world.  Next up is Jeffrey Roehr, better known as JR.  He has racked up at least a bazillion miles (that’s the official number) jetting to various corners of the globe.  Seriously, if a mere mortal were to attempt to match his distance record, he/she would have to start traveling today and continue on for… well, practically forever!  As you might imagine, JR knows a lot about a lot of different airports and he has some pretty interesting tales to tell.


Background:

Tell us a little about yourself, how you got the travel bug and give us an idea of where your travels have taken you (locations, miles, etc). 

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By DearEdward from New York, NY, USA CC BY 2.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0

My name is Jeff, but everyone calls me JR. During my life I have lived in 7 different states, and overseas in the UK, Singapore, and Taiwan. I am 56 years old and have been married 29 years to a wonderful lady. I love to laugh, and I try (I try!) to get along with everyone. However this specifically excludes you if you start kicking my seat halfway between Houston and Tokyo, or if I ever see you giving a flight attendant or a gate agent a hard time.

I started my international traveling in 1970 when our family moved to the UK, and the travel bug bit me hard as a teenager with weekend trips from the UK to all sorts of cool places in Europe. By now, I can count visits to over 40 countries with an estimated 6,000 hours in the air as a passenger. In terms of total travel I have documented over 2.5 million actual air miles, including 1.2 million just on United. Just for fun, I also have a WordPress website with some of my travel experiences/tales, tips, and tricks. http://www.paxview.wordpress.comMillion Mile3

Airport stuff:

Favorite airport to fly into/out of (in terms of approach/departure) and why:

I do not think there is any finer approach to see than SFO, and that left-turn and bank just in front of the Golden Gate bridge on a bright and sunny winter morning after finishing a TransPac flight. It is just the nicest way possible for America to say “Welcome Home” (although I still have hours of flying ahead). Yes, the DCA approach is also nice and scenic, but it is not SFO.

Prettiest airport and what criteria did you use to make that decision?

Probably like everyone else who has been there, I am going to say Singapore/Changi. And unless you have been there, it is so hard to describe. Yes, they really do have indoor butterfly gardens. Yes, indoor amusement park. Yes, waterfalls, trees, gardens. Yes, a 6 story high open atrium. Yes, smiling friendly staff, great shopping, and so clean… They even have a Dunkin Donuts in Changi (I mean talk about perfection)

Favorite airport to visit (in terms of facilities) and why:

Surprise!!! Not Changi. And I only say that because I have seldom (never ?) used any facilities at Changi other than the SQ Silver-Kris lounge. I do love Narita, the stores there are fun, but the best overall facilities might actually be in Hong Kong (the new airport). Special mention goes to the somewhat hidden casino in Frankfurt (FRA).

PWM chairsIn your opinion, what qualities make for a good airport?

Let me start with what is bad… Tight, cramped, dirty, noisy, smelly, dark & dingy, too crowded. (Yes La Guardia, I’m talking about you…) So when I find an airport that feels roomy, is bright and well lit, is not annoyingly noisy (no echoes) and is not too crowded… Love it. There are several that fit that description, but here in the USA they are all small airports. Among them are T.F. Green in Providence R.I. (PVD), Greensboro N.C. (GSO), and my former hometown airport of Portland Maine (PWM) where they even provide wooden rocking chairs by sunny gates.

Pappa'sAirport you’ve been to with the best coffee? food? Other amenities? Best coffee is tough. I am going to exclude Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts at any airports, since they are so universal. I do not remember the name of the restaurant, but it was in Zurich, and it was the best tasting cup of coffee I have ever had at an airport. So it’s Zurich airport for coffee. Food is a toss-up tie between Legal Seafoods in Boston (Logan BOS Term C), and here in my new hometown with Pappadeaux’s seafood in Houston (Bush IAH Term E).

Strangest airport-related incident: It was 1999, I was flying from Singapore to Jakarta (my first time going to Jakarta) to meet my sister and her family who had recently moved there. Coming out of immigration, I see her, but her back is facing me. So I start to rush forward with my arms outstretched to give her a big surprise hug. About 2 paces away from her I am intercepted and stopped cold by her bodyguard, complete with his pistol jabbed into my ribs. Welcome to Indonesia.

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By 颐园新居 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Best airport-related moment: Anytime I finish a flight and I see my wife waiting to pick me up. Second best is if I have luggage and I win the baggage claim lottery after an International flight because my bag is first off. Fun game – only played by very seasoned Frequent Fliers.

Worst airport-related moment: Three weeks after 9/11, I am doing a hand carry of some new silicon wafers from our test facility in Boston to an assembly house in Korea (BOS-FRA-ICN). I have all the paperwork I need, the name of the customs broker to meet up with in Incheon (ICN), and the wafers are carefully packaged inside a hermetic carrier. Problem is… all the instructions are in English and nobody at Korean customs appears able to read English. And they don’t understand my reaction when they try to open the container. End result was two rifles and a pistol being pointed at me while someone else was screaming at me in Korean. I ended up with a Korean soldier’s knee pressed into my back, keeping me face down and immobile on the floor.

JetlaggedEasiest airport to navigate and why? Domestically, I think SFO has done a great job since they remodeled back in the 90’s. Orlando’s MCO is also really easy to get around in, and the short train ride is actually a nice feature. At both airports there is a good amount of walking, but they have gone to lengths to add in some entertaining features (Yes, I mean the stores in Orlando) and good signage. The ever changing ‘museum’ exhibits in SFO on the walk between security and the gates are actually fun, I often bypass the moving walkway so I can wander through.

Most difficult airport to navigate and why? Ohhh boy… This is not easy. I have never liked trying to connect in JFK from International to Domestic, so much so that I have avoided JFK for the past 15 years. Completely 100% avoided it. It’s just a nightmare. When considering only domestic flights, it is Chicago ORD – which is probably my least favorite airport anywhere. If you ever run the mile needed to connect from a late arriving regional jet at terminals E/F to catch an on-time International flight out of terminal C, you will know why I hate ORD so much.

What’s your best advice for travelers on navigating airports? First: Calm down. Seriously. Calm Down! It seems like every trip I watch somebody just losing their mind in an airport. Stop. Take a breath. Look around. Even ask someone, there are plenty of airport workers and security/police around. Most of them actually like to help. It is not rocket science. Second advice is travel light. Don’t try to get thru security and navigate an airport with a tight connection on a busy day while carrying too much. That is asking for trouble and stress. Pack light, wear comfortable shoes (NOT slippers or sandals), and you will move fast and easy thru every airport.

ThisWayIs there anything airports can do to better assist travelers? It sounds silly, and obvious, but SIGNS. In some cases there are too many, too distracting, too much to read. In other airports there are too few, or they are too small, and you easily can head away from a gate in the wrong direction. If I could design an airport, as you walk out of every gate there would be a BIG RED ARROW pointing either left or right so you know which way to the exit and/or baggage claim.

If you could operate any piece of airport equipment/vehicle, which would it be? Any piece? Any?? The planes of course!! But there are these very strict & annoying laws, rules, and regulations that are in place to stop that. Confession; Frank Abagnale is my airport idol.

DreamWorks


Wow!  Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your stories and expertise with us JR!  I have made a note to never, ever, ever carry wafers (silicon, Necco, or any other kind) into Korea! Yikes! If you want to read more of JR’s stories you’ll definitely want to check out his blog at paxview.wordpress.com. You can also follow JR on twitter – @JR_justJR

You Go Girls! Celebrating Women of Aviation

IMG_3117It’s Women of Aviation Worldwide Week and it begs the question: How exactly do you define “of aviation?” People tend to focus on increasing the number of female pilots, which is definitely a worthy cause. But what about female mechanics? Engineers? Ground personnel? Stairs truck drivers?  Being involved in aviation encompasses so much more than just flying!

The Past

You may have heard of Raymonde de Laroche (first woman to receive a pilot’s license) and Amelia Earhart (first woman to fly solo non-stop across the United States) but how many female aviation pioneers can you name whose contributions were made outside the cockpit? Turns out there are bunches of them.  Here are just a few:

 Phoebe Omlie – 1st Female Airplane Mechanic

phoebe_1929Phoebe Omlie was born in Iowa in 1902 and fell in love with aviation as a teen when she saw a fly-over to commemorate a visit from President Woodrow Wilson. She went on to get her pilot’s license and performed as a stunt pilot and wing walker. All of that is really awesome but then she did something which, in my opinion, makes her even more awesome still – in 1927 she became the first female to earn an airplane mechanic’s license!

 Mary Van Scyoc – 1st Female Air Traffic Controller 

Born in Kansas in 1919, Mary went on her first airplane ride at age 16 with Clyde Cessna. (Yes, THAT Cessna!) She went on to get her pilot’s license and later a degree from Witchita University in English and Physical Education. She taught school for a year then, soon after the start of World War II, she saw an ad for Air Traffic Controlers and signed up. In 1942 she began working in Denver tower.  Later she transferred to Witchita and eventually worked in the Cheyenne tower as well. To be fair, a number of women began working in ATC around the same time. Mary is generally credited as the first so she gets the mention, however they’re all amazing. You go girls!

 E. Lillian Todd – 1st Woman to Build an Airplane

toddplane1909Ms. Todd was born in 1865 in Washington DC. As a girl she showed an affinity for mechanics and invention – interests she later attributed to her grandfather’s influence. In 1906 she designed a biplane based on the wings of an albatross, which she had been able to study at the natural history museum.  She was eventually able to build the plane with funding from a benefactor and in 1910 it flew 20 feet.  Are you kidding me with this?  I can’t even build a decent paper airplane, let alone a functioning biplane.  Ms. Todd ROCKS!

 Bessie Dempsey – 1st Female Engineer at Boeing

Bessie started out her professional career as a Vaudeville dancer in California. She went back to school and studied engineering, specializing in aerodynamics. After graduating in the top 10 percent of her class she got a job as an engineer at Boeing, where she worked for 24 years.  So wait… she got to be in a movie with the Marx Brothers (A Night at the Opera) AND she got to work at Boeing?  Wow! Talk about having it all!

1st Woman to Drive a Stairs Truck

Sadly, this pioneering soul has been lost to the annals of history. I am truly devastated.  Whoever she is, I’m sure she relished every moment behind the wheel.

The Future

IMG_3058Last year for Women of Aviation Worldwide Week I rounded up a bunch of teenage girls and dragged them off to an aviation museum. I was a bit uncertain about how the trip would go since none of the girls had expressed any interest in airplanes or aviation. As it turned out, everyone had a really great time.  Here are some things that I learned:

– Inspiration comes in all forms.

– Airplane art is way cool.

– If they can climb in it, on it, under it or around it, they will.  More than once.

IMG_3118– Simulators are AWESOME.

– Rest breaks are important.

– Girls know more than you think.

– They’re open to learning more than you think.

– They’ll notice things you didn’t notice.

– Even if they aren’t interested in becoming pilots, they are quite confident that they COULD be pilots if they want to be.

And that’s really what it is all about.  I don’t know if these girls will go on to pursue careers in aviation, but at least now they know that they can if they want to. Ultimately, the best thing we can do for aviation is to get as many people involved as possible – men and women, young and old, from every corner of the globe and in every facet of the industry. Oh – and letting me drive the stairs truck wouldn’t hurt either. 

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So You Want to Work in Aviation

take offOn the count of three I want you to name an aviation job. Ready? One… Two… Three!  OK, hands up all of you who came up with one of the following: pilot, flight attendant, gate/ramp agent, airplane mechanic, air traffic controller. How many of you are thinking to yourselves that you’d really like to work in aviation, but those jobs just aren’t a good fit for you?  Well I have some good news. You don’t have to be a pilot or a flight attendant or an air traffic controller to work in aviation.  Want proof?  Read on!

IMG_0694My Journey

If you’ve read my prior posts then you know a little bit about how my interest in aviation developed. However, working in the aviation industry was not something I really considered. Life took me off in other directions and family obligations left me little time to think a whole lot about airplanes. Oh, I attended air shows when I could, and I used LiveATC and flight tracking apps on my phone, but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I was able to truly reconnect with my passion for aviation.

IMG_1716At the time I was working for a large Fortune 500 company and I although I liked my employer and didn’t mind my job, I really had no enthusiasm for the industry. I kept wishing I could work at something that actually interested me. Unsurprisingly, aviation kept coming to mind.  At first I dismissed it – after all, I’m definitely NOT flight attendant or ATC material and I’m pretty sure I’m not cut out to be a pilot, or at least not a commercial one.

I knew that my employer had two or three company jets so I did some investigating and discovered they had a small aviation department. Some of the positions in that department were what you would expect – pilots, mechanics, etc.  To my surprise, however, there was also an admin/accounting position.  Transferring to the aviation department really wasn’t an option for me since it would have required a move to Chicago, but it gave me hope that getting a job in aviation might actually be possible.

IMG_1713The Search

My next step was to take stock of my background and skills to see where they could fit into the aviation picture. Prior to my stint with the Fortune 500 company I had spent several years in education, during which time I not only worked with college-bound students and their families, but I also developed my accounting, administrative and clerical skills.  I determined that the university (which has an aviation program), the FBOs, a private charter company and the airport would be the most likely employers to need my particular skillset.  So I started watching for job openings at all of those places.  I had to be patient – many of the openings I saw weren’t a good fit. It took over a year before an accounting position at the airport opened up.  I applied right away and after several interviews, I got the job… and the stairs trucks of the world got their biggest fan!

IMG_1719It Takes All Kinds

The truth is that it takes a whole lot of people doing a whole lot of different things to make the aviation industry run. There are a plenty of jobs out there that would allow you to play an important role in the world of airplanes that you probably haven’t considered.  For example:

Technology – people with technology skills are in HUGE demand in the aviation sector, just as they are pretty much everywhere else.

Wildlife Management – it’s more than just firing off the bird cannon (although that is a really cool part of the job). This position requires an understanding of the entire airport ecosystem.

IMG_1587Pavement Specialist – In case you haven’t noticed, airports have a LOT of pavement. Someone has to know the best way to maintain it, how and when to replace it, etc.

Administrative Support – there are at least 8 administrative specialists at my airport who support departments and members of management by doing things like scheduling meetings, putting together presentations, ordering office supplies, etc. Heck, the administrative associate at the FBO not only does many of those things but she also drives tugs, helps load/unload cargo and checks passenger tickets!

FullSizeRender (27)Airplane Watcher – Yes, you read that correctly! In the ops department at the passenger airport there is someone (or possibly several someones) who watch airplanes, sometimes live and sometimes on video. Large airports subscribe to tracking systems to monitor flights and eventually we probably will too.  But for now, we use a more basic tracking system (think flightaware) and we like to confirm visually if we can. I am going to lobby to have that responsibility transferred to me ASAP! In the meantime, I console myself by remembering that those lucky airplane watchers almost certainly also have other, far less awesome tasks that they are also required to perform.

IMG_0678So, Do You Want To Work In Aviation?

If the answer is yes, then seriously, what’s stopping you? Trust me, if I can do it so can almost anyone.  My only advice is to make sure that whatever aviation job you pursue is one that you will enjoy doing.  Sure, it’s awesome to see airplanes whenever you look out the window, but it cannot make up for a job that makes you miserable.  You might find yourself not loving aviation any more – and we definitely don’t want that!  But if you can find a place for yourself in the aviation industry doing something you like, then every day can be plane spotting heaven!

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Airport Tales: Aerosavvy

 

ups_worldportAs regular readers know, I love working at the airport. Aside from all the amazing airplanes I get to see every day, I’ve had the chance to learn about (and participate in) some of the fascinating operations that go on behind the scenes. However, my experience is primarily with the airport where I work. I rarely get the chance to travel and check out the goings-on at other airports. For a change in perspective I thought it would be fun to bring in some guest posters to share their experiences.  First up is Ken Hoke, aka Aerosavvy. Ken is currently a captain with a major cargo airline. Over his career he has had plenty of interesting airport adventures and he was gracious enough to share some of them!

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 Background:

IMG_1115Tell us a little about your background as a pilot, how you got started, what you do now and where your travels typically take you.

I started flying in 1983 as a civilian. After earning my ratings, I was a flight instructor and a pilot for the Tennessee Department of Forestry where I relentlessly hunted down pine beetle infestations and the occasional forest fire. My most interesting mission for the Forestry Department was airborne surveillance of a suspected arsonist (we caught him). I also flew a variety of charter flights hauling car parts, people, and freshly harvested human organs (eyes, hearts, and heaven knows what else). My next stop was flying live humans for a regional airline.

I currently fly international routes on the 757 and 767 for a package express company. Most of my flying these days is in Asia.

Airport Stuff:

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Penang Airport, Malaysia (Photo by M. Radzi Desa, Creative Commons License)

Favorite airport to fly into/out of (in terms of approach/departure) and why:

One of the prettiest arrivals that I fly is to the island of Penang in Malaysia. Gorgeous. I also like Hong Kong. The controllers are some of the best in the world and the approach/departure scenery is stunning.

Most challenging airport you have flown into/out of and why:

Shanghai is my number one. It’s supremely busy, and to make matters worse, the controllers speak Mandarin to Chinese pilots and English to everyone else. I usually have a headache by the time I get to the hotel. (China ATC will be changing to all English by 2017 – I’m glad they didn’t go the all Mandarin route!)

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Changi Airport.  Wait… an airport with a pool? Are you kidding me??? (Photo by Robert S, Creative Commons License)

Favorite airport to visit (in terms of facilities) and why:

Hands down, Singapore. Changi is one of the most pilot and passenger friendly airports in the world. They have a complex grid of taxiways made super easy to navigate with a computer controlled taxi light guidance system. Following the green centerline lights will guide you to the correct runway or parking bay. And the terminal… a passenger can spend hours wondering Changi; plenty of shopping and activities (including Singapore’s tallest sliding board!).

In your opinion, what qualities make for a good airport (as a pilot and as a traveler)?

Clear signage to gates, baggage claim, and ground transportation. More importantly, a variety of restaurant and coffee choices!

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Kansai International Airport.  (Photo by Jpatokal, Creative Commons License)

Airport/FBO you’ve been to with the best coffee? food? Other amenities?

It’s not very exotic, but I’ll take any airport terminal with a Starbucks open at odd hours. The staff at the KIX Starbucks (International Gates, Terminal 1) is awesome.

Strangest airport-related incident:

While flying a Metroliner (twin engine turboprop) for a regional carrier we hit a dog (maybe fox or coyote?) while taking off from a small airport. The animal ran onto the runway as we rotated. We heard and felt a thump as it struck the bottom-rear of the fuselage. Tower confirmed the mishap after takeoff. A ground crew was dispatched to remove the deceased victim from the runway. No damage to the aircraft. My first (and only) dog-strike.coyote pic

Best airport-related moment:

We’ll file this under “Most Interesting” instead of “Best.”

I’m a brand spanking new first officer on a Metroliner loaded with 19 passengers. These smaller planes don’t have flight attendants so the first officer does the safety briefing over the PA from the cockpit. As I begin the briefing (“Welcome aboard XYZ Express with non-stop service to Nashville…”) the gate agent hands the captain his paperwork, pulls the cockpit curtain closed, and places her tongue inside my left ear, swirling it in a counter-clockwise fashion. As would be expected of any professional pilot, I finished the briefing without missing a beat. The captain said my face was red for the entire flight. Ah, the good ole days!

Worst airport-related moment:

I was a young J-31 Jetstream Captain (I looked about 16, and really wasn’t much older). It was the first flight of the morning in Tri-Cities, Tennessee (TRI). The airport had been hit with an ice storm, leaving our aircraft encased in ice. Even after deicing, the maintenance technician was unable to get the aircraft door open. The flight was cancelled and I was rescheduled to fly later in the afternoon. Now the fun part…

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Clearly I was not the person handling deicing that day!

After the announcement was made that the flight cancelled, I made my first mistake by venturing to the gate to talk to the agent. I was met by a well dressed man with a briefcase. He asked me if I was the pilot for the Nashville flight. My second mistake of the day was answering “yes.” He was the only passenger scheduled on the flight and had convinced himself that we cancelled to avoid flying only one person. Explaining the problem didn’t help. He proceeded to throw the mother-of-all tantrums for the benefit of the gate agent, myself, and the custodial staff. If I had an iPhone, the video would have been internet gold. If it had been post 9/11, he would have been hauled off in handcuffs.

I should mention that he was an exception; most of our passengers were awesome.

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TWA Flight Center at JFK (Photo by Acroterion, Creative Commons License)

Prettiest airport and what criteria did you use to make that decision?

As far as terminals, I love the old TWA Flight Center at JFK. Designed by Eero Saarinen, the building was the future in 1962. Saarinen also designed the St. Louis Gateway Arch – he was a genius.

Is there anything airport staff can do to better support you?

Provide unlimited coffee for all crew members and airport personnel.

436th CES holds snow parade

Yay plows! (Photo by Roland Balik)

If you could operate any piece of airport equipment/vehicle, which would it be?

I would love to drive a monster snow plow; the kind airports like Anchorage or Minneapolis use. They’re awesomely HUGE. A firetruck would be fun, too!

Anything else you’d like to share?

I’ll save the story about two kids barfing in the aisle of a Jetstream for another day. 🙂

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Wow! Thanks SO MUCH for taking the time to share with us Ken! Ken has an awesome blog full of interesting and  useful aviation information that you won’t want to miss. Check it out at Aerosavvy.com.  You can also follow him on twitter – @Aerosavvy.

Airport News Roundup

IMG_1009Go ahead and admit it – you were just wondering what has been going on lately in the world of airports. Well today is your lucky day! Not only have I gathered up the latest airport news, but I also provide my  (somewhat warped) take on it, free of charge! You’re welcome!

Psst! Wanna Buy an Airport?

Apparently Normal Manley Airport (NMIA) in Jamaica was accepting bids from potential buyers to privatize operations. However, the bidding closed recently… without any bidders! What??? Why in the heck didn’t someone let me know about this?  No, I don’t have the millions of dollars I’d likely need, but hey – think of all the fun I could have had with a Go Fund Me account! And just imagine what an airport owned by me would be like!  Airport shuttles?  Taxis?  Tugs?  Oh heck no! We’re gonna use STAIRS TRUCKS for all of that.  And since airplanes are the only things more awesome than stairs trucks, as owner of the airport I would work hard to get the coolest and widest variety of airplanes to fly in. I suppose I’d also have to take care of mundane stuff like passengers, terminal maintenance, security, yadda yadda yadda.  Did I mention stairs trucks?

Here We Drone Again

A drone was spotted by the crew of a Jet Blue flight near the approach to runway 22 left at Boston Logan Airport on New Year’s Day. Um hello… what about DO NOT FLY DRONES WITHIN FIVE MILES OF AN AIRPORT don’t people understand? Most drone owners are responsible and law-abiding. It’s those few careless/clueless drone owners who are ruining it for all the rest.  The only people who tick me off more than reckless drone operators are people who shine lasers at airplanes.  Speaking of which…

LA Tops the Laser List

According to the FAA, there have been more incidents of people pointing lasers at airplanes in Los Angeles than in any other US city – a total of 197 through November of 2015. 197? Are you kidding me??? What the hell is up with that? Seriously Los Angeles, stop!  Just stop it!

Happy Birthday Heathrow!

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Today’s Weather: Partly cloudy.  Wait… partly cloudy in London?  Are you sure?  (Photo by Tony Hisgett cc)

London’s Heathrow (LHR) airport opened for commercial flights 70 years ago. 70? Wow! Happy Birthday! That’s really something! Except… Well actually now that I think on it, my airport opened in 1929 which makes it 87 years old. How on earth did a medium-sized airport in the heart of “flyover country” manage to get started ahead of LHR? That just doesn’t seem right! Well congrats anyway Heathrow.  And what took you so long? Hee hee hee! Speaking of Heathrow…

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Breaking news: I swear I had nothing to do with this!

Heathrow Expansion Delayed. Again.

Apparently some people are pretty upset that Heathrow has once again delayed making a decision about either adding a third runway, or extending an existing runway. Speaking as an employee of an airport that just built a new runway in 2013 and is in the planning stages of building an entirely new terminal, let me just say that expanding an airport is no small task. Before you can even think about making changes of any magnitude, you must first complete a large number of assessments, engineering reviews, environmental impact studies, wetland mitigation plans… the list goes on and on.  Then you have to figure out how to fund the expansion.  You can’t just jack up everyone’s rates or they’ll simply stop using your airport.  I don’t know how long LHR has been dragging its feet on this and I’m certainly not trying to defend them.  However, I do have to say I’m not at all surprised and I wish them the best!

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This just in: Eastern Airlines Jet tries unsuccessfully to elude paparazzi by hiding at the FBO

Screening for Fake Bombs?

A recent Air France flight had to make an emergency landing in Kenya after a fake bomb (made of cardboard and sheets of paper) was discovered behind one of the toilets. This is the fourth incident involving fake bombs and Air France in the last few weeks. So wait… hiding fake bombs on airplanes and scaring the heck out of everyone with them is a thing now? What on earth is wrong with people???  Don’t they have anything better to do?  Airport security is already very busy attempting to make sure no one sneaks real bombs onto planes… now they’re being asked to screen for fake bombs too?  You’ve got to be kidding.  I can just see it now: “Sorry little Suzy, but your licorice could be used as a fake fuse on a fake bomb so I’m going to have to confiscate it.”  I’ve got a better idea – how about pax stop constructing fake bombs and taking them on airplanes!  Duh! And lastly…

Airplanes Play Bumper Cars at ORD

There have been a couple of incidents recently involving planes and trucks running into each other at O’Hare airport. The most recent occurrence happened on Sunday, January 3 in which a fuel truck smashed into the wing of a GoJet flight (operating as United Express). I know what you’re thinking and no, I was NOT at ORD last Sunday night!

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In a statement released on her blog, Jenn said: “I’m not in that fuel truck.  I did not hit any airplanes. I am not using a stairs truck to make my getaway…”

My Excellent Airfield Adventure

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DISCLAIMER: All tour participants had the necessary security clearance to be on the airfield. The tour was an approved and sanctioned event. All airfield and ATC protocols were followed.

It’s no secret that I’m fascinated by airport operations, especially all that cool equipment they use the keep the airfield running.  As a result, I’m sure the Airfield Maintenance (AFM) team keeps extra locks on the vehicle sheds, just to be safe.  So imagine my surprise when my boss announced that my department had been invited on a tour of the airfield. Um… SERIOUSLY???  The AFM guys are either really brave or they totally under estimate my capacity for mayhem.

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This plane was practicing approaches during the airfield tour.

Our big adventure began with the AFM supervisors picking us up in a shuttle on the ramp right outside our office.  We then went on a drive around the airfield perimeter which allowed us to get a close-up look at the de-icing pads, glycol tanks, fuel farm and ILS equipment.  While they were driving, the AFM supervisors pointed out various systems, facilities and landmarks. They kept saying things like “Does anyone besides Jenn know what an Instrument Landing System is?”  “Does anyone besides Jenn know what RVR stands for?” When they weren’t talking I was bombarding them with questions.  Here are some of the things I learned:

IMG_0123– Airlines are responsible for their own de-icing, but Airport Operations is responsible for directing airplanes into and out of the deicing pads.  The busiest time for this (outside of snow events) is on winter mornings when the first planes to depart have to get the frost removed from their wings.  The rush begins right around 5am or so.

– Airfield Maintenance, Airport Operations, Engineering and ATC meet every Thursday morning to discuss any maintenance or other work that needs to take place in and around the runways in the coming week. (They call this the NOTAM meeting.)  They try to coordinate the work as much as possible to minimize runway closures.

IMG_9994– Airport Operations is in charge of clearing any debris from the runways.  However, if debris is reported and airfield maintenance is already working in the area, they are often called in to handle it.

– At the passenger airport the ILS system and other NAVAIDS belong to the FAA.  This is apparently the norm at many airports.  The FAA flies around to the various airports and tests the equipment to make sure it is functioning properly.  Interestingly, the ILS and NAVAIDS at the cargo and GA airports belong to the airport authority.

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One of the oddest things on the airfield – this plaque which marks the place where an old cemetery used to be. This cannot be seen from the road and unless you know where to look, you probably wouldn’t notice it from the air either

– Any wetlands that are disturbed/destroyed as part of airport construction must be replaced by one and a half times the acreage affected.  When the south runway was built in 2013, a wetlands area had to be filled in.  As per regulations, a new wetlands area was established on the south western corner of the airport property.

IMG_9980– Like any other airport, mine deals with its fair share of bird strikes every year.  If the number of bird strikes goes above a certain level, the USDA will step in to assess the situation.  Other pests the airport has had to contend with: mice, moles, voles and groundhogs.  (A few years back they removed over 300 groundhogs from the airfield!) The proliferation of small rodents in turn brings in larger predators, like hawks and coyotes.

IMG_0015– Runways are inspected and maintained regularly.  Cracks are sealed to prevent water from penetrating the runway surface and causing further damage.  Cracks above a certain size (I can’t remember the exact dimensions, but smaller than you’d think) can force the closure of a runway or taxiway.  Likewise, the grassy areas surrounding the runways must be flat and level.  Any ruts or holes (even from something as simple as sending mowers out when the ground is too wet) will force the closure of the runway and must be repaired immediately.

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One of the sensor pucks buried in the concrete and used to monitor runway conditions.

– AFM and Ops work together to handle runway maintenance in winter conditions using the old ATC tower as a base of operations.  There are sensor “pucks” built into the pavement in various locations on the taxiways and runways.  These sensors give information not only about the surface temperature, but also about the composition of the liquids on the surface.  There are also temperature sensors below ground.  If it is freezing above ground, but warmer below ground, they might be able to delay de-icing procedures. As one of the supervisors put it, managing runways in the winter is part science and part art form. (Salt is NOT used to deice runways as it is very corrosive to airplanes.)

IMG_0087– Plows with metal blades are used to clear the taxiways and the apron.  These plows can remove the snow very effectively.  On the runways they have to use blades with castors and rubber bottoms to avoid ripping out the in-ground runway lights.  (If a light is ripped up it creates a hole in the runway which means the entire runway must be shut down – not good!)  These plows cannot clear snow as effectively, so they are used in conjunction with brooms.

– Because it is fenced off and does not have public access, you do NOT need a CDL to operate a plow on the airfield! However, most AFM employees do have their CDL licenses so they can plow the streets and lots around the airport.

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I prepare to go for a ride in the broom truck!

Our tour of the perimeter concluded on the northern side of the airport near the AFM facilities.  We disembarked the shuttle in a large, mostly empty tie-down area where several pieces of equipment were waiting for us, including a snowplow and a broom truck.  We were then told to choose a vehicle and hop in.  They even said we could drive if we wanted to!  As you might imagine, I was beyond excited!

Having already sat in a plow I decided to climb on board the broom truck.  A very nice man (whose name I forget) drove me around and showed me how the broom works.  I can only imagine what operations and ATC thought at the sight of a bunch of accountants and finance people tooling around the perimeter roads in heavy equipment.  Although I was seriously tempted, I opted not to drive.  Remember how ruts in the grass can shut down a runway?  Yeah, that would totally be my luck!

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NOTAM: This runway will be closed for approximately 6 months next year to undergo resurfacing.

Once everyone had a chance to check out the airfield equipment we hopped back in the shuttle with one supervisor while the other supervisor hopped in a truck ahead of us.  To my amazement he proceeded to contact the tower and request permission for us to drive up runway 28R-10L.  At this point I officially lost my mind.  Ever since I started my job nearly a year ago I have DREAMED of getting out on one of the runways, but never really expected it would happen. Next thing I knew we were cleared onto the runway and off we went. Oh. Heck Yes!!!!! A Delta plane was taxiing towards the entrance of the runway and I can only imagine what the pilots thought when they saw us drive by.

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Yup, that’s a runway all right!

FO: “Tower, this is Delta 123 – I’d like to report a rogue shuttle bus on runway 28 Right.”

ATC: “Roger Delta 123. That’s the accounting and finance department.  They’re… um… conducting an inventory audit of the airfield. That’s right – all fourteen of them have to be driven up the runway so they can confirm it exists.”

Even more hilarious is the fact that we didn’t drive straight up the runway.  Oh no – we were weaving around because the AFM Supervisors were trying to find the sensor pucks to show us what they look like.

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RVR sensor

FO: “Tower, this is Delta 123 again –  are you SURE that’s not a drunk shuttle driver on the loose?  They’re weaving all over the place!”

ATC: “Um… Negative, Delta 123. They’re… um… counting lights.  Yes, that’s it.  You know, as part of the audit.”

We exited the runway where instructed but the supervisors weren’t happy because they hadn’t been able to find any of the sensors, so we got permission to cross the runway where we finally located one of the pucks on the taxiway.  At this point we had made almost a full loop around the airport property so the shuttle took us the short distance back to our office and the tour concluded.  As you might imagine, I was on cloud 9 the rest of the afternoon.  What an awesome experience! This definitely ranks up there as one of the coolest things I’ve gotten to do as part of my job. Now all I need is to get behind the wheel of the stairs truck! And get a tour of the airfield at the cargo airport!  And watch them unloaded the 747-8 cargo planes! And get inside the ATC tower!  And…

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Looming Pilot Shortage – Not Kid Stuff

FullSizeRender (19)There has been a lot of talk recently about the looming pilot shortage.  The high cost of  training and poor pay at many regional airlines are two potential causes. However I believe there is a serious contributing factor that has so far been completely overlooked – and it’s lurking in your child’s toy box.  I am, of course, talking about the deplorable selection of airport playsets available to children today.  You might be asking yourself, what on earth could be wrong with an airport playset?  As it turns out, quite a lot.

Are you kidding me with this?

IMG_8491At first glance this airport playset seems harmless enough. The construction is durable and the runway placement looks OK. There’s a cafe located right next to the airfield with no perimeter fencing in sight, but I think we can let that slide. The real trouble comes when you take a closer look at the ATC tower. No, you aren’t imagining things, that’s a dog working air traffic control! What the… ! Seriously? Who is the Tower Supervisor here? Scooby Doo? And I don’t even want to think about what is going on over at Center! Is it any wonder that a child using this play set might look over at the family pooch and think, “Screw this! No way in hell am I going to be a pilot!”

This Is All Kinds of Wrong!

IMG_8468There are so many issues with this next playset that I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, the runway is on top of the airport. Really? Who on earth thought this was a good idea? Even more troubling is the fact that the runway begins/ends directly in front of the ATC tower. This, coupled with the absurdly short runway length, pretty much guarantees disaster. Either planes will tumble off the edge of the airport roof, or they’ll slam into the tower. I think the designers of this toy are hoping that we’ll be so excited that the air traffic controllers are actually human we’ll overlook the fact that the airport is a death trap. Yeah… I don’t think so! You might be able to fool a one year old with this set-up, but by the time the child learns to talk his/her first words are going to be: “Pilot? NO!!!”

Seriously, What the Heck!

IMG_8469By now you’re probably thinking that an uncontrolled airfield would make for a better playset. You don’t have to worry about Astro working approach and the risk of carnage is a bit lower. I mean, how hard can it be to design a realistic runway with no buildings or ATC towers to deal with?  Apparently too hard. Allow me to introduce you to this airfield that appears to have been added to a train set as a random afterthought. The only building in the area is a helipad which is freakishly large in comparison to the runway. And once again the runway placement is questionable.  Right next to a road? Really? And why is the road longer and wider than the runway? It’s almost as if toy designers are deliberately trying to scare off future pilots.

No, Just No!

FullSizeRender (18)I know what you’re thinking. These airport play sets seem a bit dated. Surely modern sets are better. I thought the same thing.  And then this happened.  Behold the Boeing airport set purchased just a few months ago. Notice anything peculiar? How about the fact that the ground equipment is completely GINORMOUS compared to the airplanes? I mean just look at how the stairs truck towers over the Dreamliner. Now you know I love a good stairs truck, but a monster stairs truck that’s capable of trampling a large airplane? OK fine, I still love it. Most kids, however, would likely be completely confused if not downright terrified.

So What Do We Do?

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If the dog in the ATC tower doesn’t kill you, the dog working the rental car counter will!

Think these are isolated examples? Think again! Next time you are bored, google airport play sets. I dare you! You think canines running ATC is bad? One play set has a truck handling air traffic control. Yes, you read that correctly. A truck! Do you think Charles Lindbergh or Amelia Earhart would have taken to the skies if they had been forced to play with these nightmares disguised as toys? I don’t think so! If we’re to cultivate the next generation of pilots, it’s time to stop the madness. Contact Hasbro, Mattel, Little Tykes, American Girl Doll, your representatives in Washington, and the Pope and let them know what is going on here.  While you’re at it you might want to contact the SPCA too, just in case.

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