I’ve heard pilots and air traffic controllers say that one of the things they like about their jobs is that every day is different.  The same can be said about life at the airport.  Well… OK, I admit my accounting responsibilities are fairly routine.  But when it comes to airport operations, you never know what each day might bring.  Here are some of the unusual goings-on I’ve experienced over the last few months:

Fire Alarms

I’ve had to deal with more fire alarms at work in the last four months than in my entire working life prior to the airport.  And we’re not talking those run-of-the-mill fire alarms you might remember from school.  No, this alarm is ear-shatteringly obnoxious AND includes flashing lights as well.  Thankfully the alarm is always followed by an announcement on the intercom letting us know whether we really have to evacuate or not.  So far I’ve only had to evacuate once. Actually, since our evacuation route takes us out onto the apron, I wouldn’t mind evacuating more often. And if I just happen to drive away on the motorized stairs, I promise it will be for safety reasons.

Emergencies Outside

In a recent two week period the airport comm center responded to just over 1200 requests for police/fire!

I see and hear emergency vehicles out on the airfield quite often. Once I saw them head over to the FBO to deal with a small fire. And once I saw several fire trucks waiting near the end of the runway for a plane to land, then they followed it back to the terminal. Unfortunately my airport is not currently covered by LiveATC.net and my poor, ancient scanner isn’t working, so I haven’t able to listen in to the tower or emergency channels.

Police Incidents

A myriad of small things happen every day that require police attention.  For the most part I don’t see or hear anything about them. There was, however, one major incident that happened in January involving a man with a knife who tried to buy tickets with a fake ID. The airport was placed on lockdown and some flights were delayed while the man’s car was searched for explosives. If you’re concerned about my safety, let me put your mind at ease – the accounting department is tucked safely away in a reasonably secure location where nothing can reach us… except an out of control jet careening across the taxiways.  But what are the chances?

Mechanical Problems

The airport is currently undergoing a major renovation which sometimes requires the electricity to be shut off in certain areas. To minimize disruptions, these outages are scheduled for late at night after the last flight has landed.  Unfortunately, after one of these planned outages the baggage system for Concourse B failed to come back online.  Oops! As a result, crews had to load bags onto tugs, drive them to Concourse A, screen them, drive them back to B, sort them, and then, finally, load them onto the appropriate airplanes.  As you might imagine, this slowed down the process quite a bit.  Fortunately they were able to get the issue fixed and the baggage system operational again within just a few hours. I volunteered to ride the baggage carousel just to confirm everything was functioning properly but was told it wasn’t necessary.  Darn!

Weather

Snow blows across the runway on a cold, blustery day in February.

You’ve heard the saying, “Don’t like the weather? Wait five minutes and it will change!” This is very true in my part of the midwest.  Snow one moment, then freezing rain, then rain, then freezing rain, then snow again, then finally it clears but the wind kicks in and gusts up to 20mph… and that’s just getting from my car to the shuttle pick up in the morning! In the summer you can substitute hail for freezing rain and thunderstorms for snow.  Suffice it to say Airfield Maintenance often has their hands full keeping the runways and taxiways open.

TSA

As an employee I can access the concourses without having to go through the full  TSA screening.  That said, however, the TSA often does spot screenings.  Usually this involves checking my badge to make sure that I am who I claim to be and that I have authorized access.  Recently, however, they also tested my hands for explosive residue. What the heck do they think is going on down in accounting?

Passengers

Passengers come in all shapes and sizes and in all kinds of interesting outfits. (Really? You’re getting onto an airplane wearing THAT?)  Most of the people I see are your typical business travelers and families.  However I’ve also seen many sports teams (some of which arrived on cool charter airplanes), spring break and Mardi Gras party-goers, hockey all-stars, Arnold Schwarzenegger Classic body building competitors, Final Four tournament attendees and even team mascots.

Celebrities

I’ve got chills, they’re multiplying!

What movie wouldn’t be complete without a scene in the airport?  Just ask John Travolta.  The producer of the movie that Travolta is currently filming decided to pick the busiest day of the week, the busiest time of day and the busiest location in the entire airport to try to film unnoticed. No, I wasn’t supposed to take a picture.  Yes, I did anyway.  And yes there’s a chance my backside might have made its film debut as I departed the area.  But more likely I’ll end up on the cutting room floor.  Oh well – that’s just life at the airport!

Airports are where airplanes take off and land and taxi around, which automatically makes them cool and interesting places.  Believe it or not, however, airplanes aren’t the only interesting things at the airport.  Over the last few months I’ve collected several random tidbits of information about my airport that I thought would be fun to share. Please note – although this is being posted on April Fools day, the information below is true to the best of my knowledge.

Yes, that’s a house just off the north runway.

1. The CEO lives on the airport property. In fact, she’s got a lovely view of the north runway from her house and she apparently gets clearance to drive across the airfield to work each day. I’m told that state law requires the CEO to live at the airport, although I have no idea why. If anything were to happen she has lots of people on site at any given time to deal with it.

2. De-icing fluid runs into tanks where it is mixed with water. It must be diluted to a certain level before it can be released.

3. I’ve counted 18 security cameras between the shuttle drop-off and my desk. There are probably many more cameras than that – these are just the ones I can see.

4. The airport has its own police force. The members go through all the same training as the state police, but they are an entirely separate entity.

There is neither a button nor a door here, so your delay is likely to be quite a bit longer than 2 seconds.

5. A few years ago the airport built a brand-new ATC tower to go along with the new runway. However, they did not demolish the old ATC tower and I wondered why. It turns out the old tower is used by Air Field Maintenance to monitor runway and apron conditions. I am, of course, plotting to storm the tower and turn it into my personal airport viewing space… I mean office.

6. An airline (which shall remain nameless) once left a plane with mechanical issues sitting at one of the gates for 18 days. That’s right- 18 DAYS. And yes, they do get charged for parking.

7. There are 23 escalators and one moving walkway at the airport. I wanted to ride them all and time myself to see how long it would take, however several are not operating at the moment due to construction.

8. There is a Starbucks on every concourse. Well of course there is. There’s a Starbucks on every street corner, so why not every concourse?

9.The airport actually does have courtesy phones.  Unfortunately for Captain Oveur they only come in one color: red. (Yes, people do get paged to pick up the red courtesy phone. I can’t help laughing every time!)

Sorry this pic is a little blurry. Had to take it on the sly for obvious reasons.

10. There are several K9s who work for the airport detecting drugs and explosives. I see them from time to time – usually in the early mornings when the airport isn’t too busy. I suspect most of the time they’re working in the baggage area. They are gorgeous animals and even though I am sooo tempted to pet them, I would never do so. If you see a K9 at the airport, you should assume it is on the job and leave it alone.

11. The airport has a bicycle cop.  He rides a Trek.  I have seen him in various places around the airport.  Hoping to see him ride up/down the escalators one of these days!

Gorgeous clouds make for a beautiful morning at the airfield.

If you’ve been following this blog, or if you follow me on twitter, then you know my current airport job isn’t especially exciting – I spend my time shuffling invoices, trying to make sure the bills get paid.  The highlight of my day (aside from lunch) is walking to my desk, which involves traversing a long hallway with floor to ceiling windows that looks out at gates B19 and B21 as well as at the runway beyond.  The rest of my day, unfortunately, is not so fun. But what if I could have ANY airport job? Even better, what if I could zero in on a specific portion of an airport job that looks like it would be really cool? In no particular order, here’s my list:

Able to direct planes and defend the Republic.

Marshaller

You get to play with mini light sabers AND direct airplanes?  Count me in!  OK, I get that marshallers typically also have all kinds of other responsibilities as well – like loading and unloading baggage, cleaning and preparing the airplanes, etc.  However, if I could be JUST a marshaller, how awesome would that be? Well, awesome for ME anyway.  It’s questionable whether it would be at all awesome for the poor pilots who’d be stuck trying to follow my directions.  Captain: “What the heck is she doing?” First Officer: “It looks like she’s in the middle of a light saber battle.”

Jet Bridge Operator

I’m not sure why, but I’ve always thought it would be entertaining to operate the jet bridge.  For this reason alone it’s probably a good thing I’m not allowed anywhere near the controls.  Still, I’d like to give it a try, just once.

Fuel Truck Driver

No, I don’t want to be responsible for actually fueling airplanes – there are just too many ways that could go horribly wrong.  However, I think it would be a lot of fun to spend my day driving around on the apron. And since everyone needs the fuel truck, I’d be pretty popular.

Snowplow Driver

The snowplow offers less fire danger than the fuel truck, but more runway action!  Have you ever seen snowplows clear a runway?  It’s actually really cool to watch! They typically work in a group so they can move a lot of snow all at once.  If it has been a very snowy day, you can’t even see the plows as they’re working – they look like giant poof-balls of snow moving around on the runway.  Being part of a snowplow armada looks like it would be quite entertaining. I’m pretty sure I would totally love it.  I’m also sure the airfield people are busy putting extra locks on the snowplows right now.

A hawk hangs out on the fence near the employee lot.

Bird Cannon Technician

In my two months on the job I’ve only heard the bird cannon once.  I’m not sure how much good it really did since the birds in question merely flew on over to the other runway.  However, it was really loud and therefore also really awesome.  Of course, I’d be extremely tempted to fire off the bird cannon for non-bird-related reasons… like just to make sure it still works.  Or because it’s lunch time.

Airplane De-icer/Anti-icer

The contraption that sprays the de-ice/anti-ice solutions on the airplanes reminds me of something out of star wars.  I think it would be quite entertaining to sit in there and spend my days spraying down planes. Ooops – I think I missed a spot.  Yeah, I better spray down that portion again. Let’s get the wings just one more time.  Oh look – they’re sending someone out to stop me.  Time for me to hop into the fuel truck and make a quick get away!

That’s a lot of windows to wash!

ATC Tower INSIDE window washer

I think every avgeek has a secret (or maybe not-so-secret) desire to spend time in the tower.  Who wouldn’t want a spectacular view of the airport, the runways and all the goings-on? Hence my desire to be an inside window washer – I’d get all the awesome views with none of the awesome responsibility that the air traffic controllers have.  Please note my emphasis on INSIDE.  No way in hell I’d want to try to clean the windows on the outside.  Have you seen how high up they are?  No thank you!

Stairs Driver

To be honest, I don’t know if my airport actually has motorized stairs.  I suppose they might – after all I see airplanes parked out on the apron all the time and they must have some method of getting the crew out. However, I have yet to actually see any motorized stairs.  If they have them, though, I really want to try driving them around.  I promise I wouldn’t use them to sneak onto any airplanes.  Well, not often, anyway.

Want to see the stairs in action?  Check out this video from Top Gear BBC in which various airport vehicles race each other to determine which is the fastest.

New Year’s Day marked my first full month at the airport.  Where has the time gone?  Seems like just yesterday I was navigating my way through the terminal, wide-eyed with excitement. The job itself has been… a job. Hey, it’s accounting. There’s just no way to make it sound glamorous. Thankfully, the firsts that stand out the most have nothing to do with the job and everything to do with being an avgeek at the airport.  Here are some of my favorite firsts so far:

They may steal cars, but not rental cars and definitely not from the airport.

Security Training

All new employees have to go through a certain amount of security training. I know it sounds exciting… but it’s not. However, we did learn a few interesting facts from the Airport Police.  The most stolen item at the airport? Cars.  Apparently people like to rent cars and not return them. Go figure. The most left-behind item found at the airport?  Car keys.  The officer who conducted our training wondered how on earth people manage to get home considering how many keys get left behind. (Perhaps this is why people are stealing the rental cars?)  The most bone-headed move that ended in jail time? A passenger called, said he was running late and asked that they hold the airplane for him.  Of course he was told that wasn’t possible and he’d have to re-book when he arrived.  His response? “Well what if I told you there was a bomb on the plane?  Would you hold it then?” Dunno if they held the plane, but they sure held the passenger when he finally showed up!

Look – there’s birds! Let’s go get the birds! Come on – let’s go get ’em! Oh, never mind.

Bird Cannon

I’d read that birds at the airport are most often a problem in the mornings and evenings.  It probably should have come as less of a surprise then, when my morning routine of coffee and plane spotting was interrupted by an extremely loud explosion.  I was puzzled for a moment, until I saw a flock of birds frantically flying away… straight towards the other runway.  Doh!  This is why the airport needs to hire my dogs.  They can work together – one for each runway. Plus they work cheap and are less noisy than the cannon (but only slightly).

Southwest going around on a blustery winter day.

Go Around

I got to witness my first go-around on a rainy, gloomy evening after work.  I had just arrived in the lot and actually wasn’t watching the approach, as I was busy putting my stuff in the car.  But then I heard engines throttle up in a place and a way that caught my attention because it was unusual.  I looked up just in time to see a Southwest flight going around pretty much right over my head.  Awesome!  And being the good avgeek that I am, I stuck around to see their second approach and successful landing.

The Baggage Sorting Area

Am I the only one who has ever been tempted to ride around on the baggage carousel?  Fortunately I’ve managed to resist that temptation… so far.  It helps that I have had the chance to actually see where all the luggage goes.  As you might expect it goes into a very large area filled with belts and conveyors. This area opens to the outside where the bags are loaded into the carts and taken to and from the airplanes.  And no, I didn’t see Bruce Willis, but that could be because he was busy pestering the ATC folks over in the tower.

Look! An airplane! And a firetruck! And a dumpster. And a pole. OK, not the best pic ever.

On the Apron

Day six on the job and I was sitting in a meeting when the fire alarm went off.  We evacuated the building through a series of hallways and staircases until we emerged outside. It was cold and most people were milling about, speculating on the cause of the fire.  I, on the other hand, was thrilled to find myself standing on the apron.  There was nothing but open space separating me from the airplanes!  Wheeeee!  So of course I took lots of pictures, completely unconcerned about whether the airport was burning down behind me.  (It wasn’t.  There was a small grease fire at Burger King that was quickly extinguished.)

Not much going on at Gate B23 today… although apparently on Sunday it was a happening place!

Concourse B

It took a few weeks but I finally found the employee-only entrance to Concourse B.  I was thrilled because there are some great views of the taxiways and the runways back by the gates. I enjoy walking through the concourse on my lunch break. Plus Starbucks is back there – hallelujah!!!  Still haven’t figured out how to get into Concourses A and C yet, but I’m sure I will eventually.  I heard a rumor it involves walking around on the apron. Sweet!

It’s Not What You Think

Those of you who know me reasonably well might have seen  the title of this post and had a momentary panic attack.  Let me put your mind at ease – I am not now, nor have I ever been, an Air Traffic Controller. I have a tremendous amount of respect for the ATC folks and all that they do.  I love my LiveATC app and routinely listen to the controllers at ORD, LAX and JFK. The number of airplanes they manage and the calm, efficient way in which they do it never ceases to amaze me.  But the idea of me as a controller?  Scary thought!  Little do you know just how scary!  Let’s just say that there’s a very good reason why I never pursued a career in ATC.

A REALLY long time ago…

I attended a small HS in eastern Pennsylvania.  At that time the home computer was just starting to really become commonplace. To make sure we’d be prepared for it, all students were required to complete a “computer class.” This might sound really cutting edge, except that we didn’t learn programming. In fact, we didn’t really learn anything at all. Instead we spent our time playing a variety of computer games and simulations. One of the programs we were required to complete was an ATC simulation.

Before you get too impressed let me remind you that the simulations available on home computers at the time were pretty archaic. Plus we were using the easiest setting on the game.  We only had to deal with one type of aircraft. Weather was only marginally a factor – there was no rain, snow, lightning, or any wind beyond a gentle, manageable breeze which would sometimes change directions.  There was no speaking – all commands were typed in – and each plane immediately did as commanded. This means there were also no garbled communications, no misunderstandings, no requests for a different runway and no in-flight emergencies.

What’s our vector, Victor? Roger, Roger!

In the simulation I was set up as a tower controller and was responsible for traffic crossing through the airspace, all planes on the runways, coordinating landings, etc. So I set to work, busily typing in commands and nodding with satisfaction as planes changed altitudes and directions as instructed. After a bit I reached the end of the simulation and I have to admit I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I’d managed to get all the planes where they needed to be, maintaining appropriate levels of separation, no near-collisions or runway incursions, etc.

What the…!!!

Just then, a plane sitting near one of the gates appeared to burst into flames. Then another. Then another. The next thing I knew there were planes “on fire” all around the airport. So I did what any reasonable person would do – I started freaking out.  The teacher noticed the commotion and came to peer over my shoulder. Then he calmly explained that what I mistook for fire was actually the “out-of-fuel” symbol. Why the “out-of-fuel” symbol should look suspiciously like flames is beyond me. Perhaps it was designed that way to catch players’ attention.  It certainly caught mine! As it turned out, the reason there were planes “on fire” all over the airport is that while I’d done a great job of moving planes through the airspace and bringing them in to land… I’d neglected to have even a single plane take off! DOH!!!!!!!

In case you were wondering…

Needless to say, after this experience I crossed Air Traffic Controller off my list of potential occupations. I also nixed “Nuclear Power Plant Technician” after setting a new school record for fastest nuclear meltdown in the power plant simulator.  And in case you were wondering, yes there was a flight simulator too.  I won’t go into detail about what happened, but let’s just say there are also really good reasons why I’m not an airline pilot!