Please Don’t – What Not To Do at the Airport

By User:Mattes (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia CommonsDear passengers, we love you – we do! You’re the engine that makes our industry go. And the vast majority of you do it right – you arrive early, are courteous, patient, etc. But I’ve seen some things lately that, quite frankly, make me cringe. So here are a few words of advice for the rest of you.

Please don’t drag six giant suitcases to the gate. Seriously. You aren’t fooling anyone. You’re not going to be able to fit even the smallest one into the overhead bin. You’re going to have to check them. You know this! Do yourself and everyone attempting to maneuver around you a favor and get to the airport early enough to properly check your bags.

luggagePlease don’t walk and text at the same time, especially if you’re lugging a bunch of suitcases – see above.

Please don’t ride the baggage carousel. For some reason this is frowned upon and if I’m not allowed to do it, then neither are you.

Why is there a picture of motorized stairs here? No reason other than I like them and I felt like it.

Motorized stairs – because awesomeness.

Please don’t have loud, angry conversations on the phone via bluetooth. You sound like a crazy person and you’re attracting attention – the wrong kind.

Please don’t hover awkwardly/menacingly/timidly/creepily over someone seated near an outlet. First of all, look around and see if there are any other outlets available.  My airport has lots of them all over – in the walls, built into the seats, heck they even have charging tables.  However, if you need to charge a device and there’s only one outlet in the vicinity, just ask nicely if you can use it.

crazy high heelsPlease don’t wear super stiletto high heels. Or, for that matter, flip flops. I realize that going through security is a challenge and having to take your shoes off is a hassle, but if you won’t think about what it will do to your feet schlepping around the airport in that kind of footwear, then please consider what would happen if you were involved in an emergency and needed to evacuate. Last I checked, it is highly unlikely you’ll be evacuating onto a beach. Or a dance club.

Please don’t ask the airport employee where the bathroom is when you are standing less than ten feet from the bathroom.

dog 1

This dog is parking in a no parking zone. Again.

Please don’t park in the no parking zones out front. Seriously, it’s a safety thing – we’re not just trying to make your life difficult for the fun of it.

Please don’t argue and complain about the parking ticket you got when you ignored the roughly 200 NO PARKING signs and parked in the no parking zone anyway.

While we’re on the subject, please don’t blame your dog for parking in the no parking zone. Come on now – everyone knows that dogs are terrible at parallel parking. Besides, they prefer the long-term parking lots because there’s more space to… er… well, do their business (if you know what I mean). And yes, someone really did attempt to argue their way out of a parking ticket by blaming their dog!

Please don’t forget that there are security cameras EVERYWHERE. Enough said.

Whatever else you do, please DO NOT attempt to get on the employee shuttle. It won’t take you to your car and trust me, you really don’t want to ride with us!

2 southwest

 

9 thoughts on “Please Don’t – What Not To Do at the Airport

    • Hahaha! Too funny Ron! Type and walk all you want – just don’t try to also drag six huge suitcases at the same time. It hurts when they run over innocent bystanders… or innocent airport employees!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Have you ever seen someone actually ride the baggage carousel? Because that would be awesome. When I was little, I used to beg my parents to let me ride it. Obviously, they said no… sigh. 😉

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  2. When I am in need of entertainment at the airport I check out the Oversize Baggage desk. What I see makes my mind boggle.

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  3. I recently found there’s something that while not prohibited is something else you should not do. As you know Jenn I’m quite fond of the A-10, so you can understand when I found there was a GAU8A30mm (the cannon) ring tone I downloaded it with out thinking twice. It was great and most people got a kick out of me getting a phone call, it’s a great conversation piece to most people. Most people, not all. Enter a certain government agency the checks your bags, yes airline pilots have to go through the G.S.F.P. (Government Sanctioned Fondling Procedure) just like every one else. Of course you know the next part, it rang while I was having my special parts checked for stuff you can’t have on a airplane. The nice lady checking me became extremely excited and began making up new things that you can’t have. “Mam, I’ll make sure to keep it off next time”. This is what she said, really, her actual comment “You’re right you won’t have it on again at the airport and you are not boarding with it today. You can either take in back to your vehicle or you can surrender it here.” I asked for a supervisor at this point because 1, my car is in Charlotte (This happened at SeaTac) and 2, it was a brand new phone. While waiting for the supervisor I asked her for the reason why I can’t have it. Time to enter the twilight zone, this is exactly what she said “Sir, you are not allowed to have a weapon of any kind on a airplane, what if that thing goes off in flight, it could upset passengers and DISTRACT THE PILOT’S.” (BTW I was in uniform) I told you, twilight zone…Long story short the supervisor gave it back to me a sent me on my way but not before asking where he could download the ring tone. Sorry to get carried away with the comment Jenn, just thought it would give you a chuckle ; ) As usual, thanks for another fun read ; )

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    • Oh my goodness – that’s hysterical JC! Along similar lines, I used to refer to those long metal letter openers as “weapons” because they are rather lethal-looking. Then recently I found myself asking the department admin if I could “borrow her weapon.” Needless to say, that’s not the best thing to say in an airport. LOL!!! Thanks so much for reading!!!

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